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Posted on March 26, 2003. Filed under: Uncategorized |

The Onion | Bush Bravely Leads 3rd Infantry Into BattleThe president has only been in battle for less than a week, but he has already proven himself more than willing to put himself in the line of fire.
“The president carried me through an enemy minefield after my arm had been blown off by a mortar shell, blazing away with his pistol as he delivered me to safety,” Pvt. Chris Adair said. “Then, after he’d gotten me to a medic, he went all the way back through that same minefield�carrying a 40-pound bag of ice the whole way�to retrieve my severed arm so the doctors could sew it back on. Now, thanks to President Bush, I’ll still be able to play piano for the church choir back home in Appleton, just like I promised Grandma. He is truly an American hero.”